i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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