I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
