whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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