Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
