I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
