What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
