so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
