So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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