he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
