Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
