I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Randomize