my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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