Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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