HIV tests are more positive than that guy
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
