I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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