the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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