I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
