i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
