Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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