Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize