I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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