Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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