5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
