who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
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