come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
How's work?
Spinning.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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