I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize