I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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