Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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