3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize