we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
