just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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