Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
