just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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