Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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