I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
