i permit you to call me
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
