no. you can't hotbox the world.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
