Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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