i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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