I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
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