Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
