hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
