Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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