thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
