i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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