upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
