ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize