do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
