the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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