There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
