went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
We don't watch enough power rangers
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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