I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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