I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
