i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
