maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
