I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
