I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
