i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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