Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize