Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
