Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My dick has a subreddit
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
