My hand turned me down
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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