I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
