Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize