party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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