After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
