Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
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I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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