I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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