i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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